I wanted to update on this month of pregnancy. January was great, and when I say great I mean all those things that I mentioned in my jan 4th post, I've been doing and it really does work. I've only had 10 days when I knew the world would end, out of 30 days, that's pretty dang good. The other 20 were do-able. I'm trying to read my scriptures in the day so that I get more out of my study. I also ran all of my treats to Nadine's last week when I felt the sky was falling. I think I will go back and re-claim them sometime. See, I usually throw everything out of my house when I start panicking about gaining weight that will "NEVER EVER COME OFF" (yeah, Eat. dis. talking there) and I swear up and down that I will not have treats ever in my house and I will do a myriad of things to ensure I don't gain any weight. BUT, I didn't do that this time. I didn't even think it. I did realize how much stress I felt with my treats in my kitchen, so I decided to take a small break until I feel more like myself. Yay, success and it helped.
I do cry just about every day, but I refuse to let my "fat" feelings last. I do realize that third tri is absolutely the most trying for me and I've accepted that I just cannot change whatever is happening in my brain for my eyes to see a small fat girl instead of a beautiful bearing mother, but I don't have to let it go on. I can battle. Moroni exhorted Pahoran to "be up and doing" and so I'm trying very hard to be up and doing instead of down and moping. Laughing is easier when you are mopping. Being kind is better when you are in the moment of Legos with your 5 yr old. None of that requires a mirror.
And now, to break up another kid fight.....
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